Sunday, September 30, 2012
Communing With Nature
Normally, I don't skip church on a Sunday morning to go hiking, but this morning I felt the need to get out into the mountains and just walk. I had been looking forward to the trip to Capitol Reef (that didn't happen this week) for a very long time. I have mentioned this before, but time spent in the wild places around me is time I use to rejuvenate my mind and soul. My job (the one I am grateful I have, but dislike more than I can express) seems to suck everything good and wholesome right out of me. Time spent camping helps replenish what I lose on a daily basis. Missing that was not easy, though we did find ways to make it easier. One of those ways was to spend time hiking today; the final day before returning to work. I wanted to spend time in the majesty of the mountains, surrounded by the amazing autumn colours, and worrying about nothing more than the settings on my camera. It was a glorious day for hiking and I have proof.
Now maybe it might not be quite as hard to face work tomorrow morning.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Year 49, Day 1
Yesterday was my birthday. We had planned on going to Capitol Reef, but a new battery for the car ate up all our camping money and Merilee has not been feeling well, so this year's trip didn't happen. That pretty much fits the way this year has gone. Now I have to wait until the end of October and Arches for a camping trip.
Back on June 30th, we went to Spanish Oaks Reservoir to go fishing. It is a man-made reservoir with concrete walls that slant at almost 45 degrees. I had caught a smaller fish that I tried to throw back, but it just kind of sat there in the water. Rather than waste it, I decided to try to reach down and take it out of the water. I took one step too far and slipped on the slimy wall. For most people, this would not have been a big deal. I, however, cannot swim. I felt myself being dragged out into the water and it was not long before my feet were not touching anything. I managed to call for help and, fortunately, there were some scouts and their leaders not far away. They were able to get a had net out to me and pull me back in. I never went under completely, and I somehow managed to not panic, but I know how close I came to actually drowning. I have been trying to deal with that event ever since it happened with varying degrees of success. I have still not fully processed it, though I am definitely glad I am still around. I just keep wondering why, because not much has changed since then. My job has become progressively more oppressive and everything is pretty much like it was before, though I still get chills when I remember the feeling of not being able to stop myself from sliding into the water and those thoughts come back at the oddest moments. The year seems to have gotten steadily more strange since.
While we did not get to go camping, we did spend most of my birthday visiting Nine Mile Canyon. Much of what was once a washboarded dirt road is now nicely chip sealed. While that makes the driving much easier, it worries me a bit that the easier access may end up hurting some of the petroglyph sites due to human abuse. I hope that is not the case because the canyon and the art are irreplaceable treasures. That said, we had a great time and I took tons of photos. I even managed to see some sites I had never seen before. It was very enjoyable.
I am treating my birthday much like New Year's Day in that I am making some changes going forward. One is writing again, something I have been neglecting. Another is going a year without soda (one day in a row so far). Anyway, we'll see how successful I am this time around. And with that I will call this one good. My thoughts are just not very organized this evening.
Back on June 30th, we went to Spanish Oaks Reservoir to go fishing. It is a man-made reservoir with concrete walls that slant at almost 45 degrees. I had caught a smaller fish that I tried to throw back, but it just kind of sat there in the water. Rather than waste it, I decided to try to reach down and take it out of the water. I took one step too far and slipped on the slimy wall. For most people, this would not have been a big deal. I, however, cannot swim. I felt myself being dragged out into the water and it was not long before my feet were not touching anything. I managed to call for help and, fortunately, there were some scouts and their leaders not far away. They were able to get a had net out to me and pull me back in. I never went under completely, and I somehow managed to not panic, but I know how close I came to actually drowning. I have been trying to deal with that event ever since it happened with varying degrees of success. I have still not fully processed it, though I am definitely glad I am still around. I just keep wondering why, because not much has changed since then. My job has become progressively more oppressive and everything is pretty much like it was before, though I still get chills when I remember the feeling of not being able to stop myself from sliding into the water and those thoughts come back at the oddest moments. The year seems to have gotten steadily more strange since.
While we did not get to go camping, we did spend most of my birthday visiting Nine Mile Canyon. Much of what was once a washboarded dirt road is now nicely chip sealed. While that makes the driving much easier, it worries me a bit that the easier access may end up hurting some of the petroglyph sites due to human abuse. I hope that is not the case because the canyon and the art are irreplaceable treasures. That said, we had a great time and I took tons of photos. I even managed to see some sites I had never seen before. It was very enjoyable.
I am treating my birthday much like New Year's Day in that I am making some changes going forward. One is writing again, something I have been neglecting. Another is going a year without soda (one day in a row so far). Anyway, we'll see how successful I am this time around. And with that I will call this one good. My thoughts are just not very organized this evening.
Monday, April 30, 2012
And So It Goes
What can I say? When I decide to drop out for awhile, I really drop out for awhile, even when I really don't mean too be gone for so long. I decided that I would take a bit of a break from the blog experience, but before I knew it that break had become a full blown leave of absence. So here I am more than three months later trying to kick start the writer I have neglected for so long. Yes, I am back. For how long is anyone's guess at this point.
It has been an interesting year so far, and not necessarily in the most positive sense. I have my books for sale on the iBooks site, but only one take so far and he may have done so out of a sense of obligation. I know that these things sometimes take awhile to get going, but I had hoped at least a couple of my Facebook friends would take a chance on the e-book versions. I'll be brutally honest; one of the reasons I took so long to do my Arches book was because I was afraid that this would be the result. I put it out there for all to see, only to be met by an overwhelming wave of indifference. (That's the fragile side of my psyche talking; the side that longs for acceptance and outside validation. It's also the side I tend to keep rather hidden.) I really do not want this to be a complaint fest, but I guess I let my hopes get a little too high (something I always seem to do, even with all the experience I have to teach me not to). The books are still there, and I have begun working on another. I guess in spite of my outward pessimism, my inner optimist struggles on.
While in Zion this month, Merilee and I stopped by the Fatali Gallery in Springdale, right outside the park. I think if I had known what waited for me, I may not have gone in. When I saw the amazing photography there, I suddenly felt rather small. I like to think that I have a talent for photography, but those photos were so beautiful that I found myself feeling alternately awed at what I saw, and disheartened with my own work in comparison. Again, it's that fragile, self-doubting side of my psyche making an appearance. His work left me speechless....and wondering if I should throw in the proverbial towel. I won't, partly because I am just too stubborn to admit defeat, no matter how defeated I may feel sometimes.
OK, that's enough for tonight. Anyone glad I am back? Anyone at all? If not, that's OK. I still write mainly for me, not for an audience.
It has been an interesting year so far, and not necessarily in the most positive sense. I have my books for sale on the iBooks site, but only one take so far and he may have done so out of a sense of obligation. I know that these things sometimes take awhile to get going, but I had hoped at least a couple of my Facebook friends would take a chance on the e-book versions. I'll be brutally honest; one of the reasons I took so long to do my Arches book was because I was afraid that this would be the result. I put it out there for all to see, only to be met by an overwhelming wave of indifference. (That's the fragile side of my psyche talking; the side that longs for acceptance and outside validation. It's also the side I tend to keep rather hidden.) I really do not want this to be a complaint fest, but I guess I let my hopes get a little too high (something I always seem to do, even with all the experience I have to teach me not to). The books are still there, and I have begun working on another. I guess in spite of my outward pessimism, my inner optimist struggles on.
While in Zion this month, Merilee and I stopped by the Fatali Gallery in Springdale, right outside the park. I think if I had known what waited for me, I may not have gone in. When I saw the amazing photography there, I suddenly felt rather small. I like to think that I have a talent for photography, but those photos were so beautiful that I found myself feeling alternately awed at what I saw, and disheartened with my own work in comparison. Again, it's that fragile, self-doubting side of my psyche making an appearance. His work left me speechless....and wondering if I should throw in the proverbial towel. I won't, partly because I am just too stubborn to admit defeat, no matter how defeated I may feel sometimes.
OK, that's enough for tonight. Anyone glad I am back? Anyone at all? If not, that's OK. I still write mainly for me, not for an audience.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
What a month it has been so far. I am just starting to get used to waking up earlier for my new schedule at work. The last couple of weeks has been very busy and rather stressful. By the time the day has come an end, I have had nothing left in me for writing. I'm thinking that it will be a bit easier this week, so hopefully the blog will proceed with a new sense of regularity (I would say urgency, but I really don't have anything that urgent to say at the moment). The really nice thing about my new schedule is I am free at 3:25PM rather than 5:05PM.
In a way, it surprises me that we are already two weeks into the new year. Sometimes time seems to literally fly by (usually when I am not at work) and I find myself wondering where it went. Part of that is due to the fact that my job is more a study in endurance than something that I find truly interesting. When you are living just to get through something because it is something you need to do, there is not much time left for anything more fulfilling.
I still find myself hoping that someone will see my books on Blurb and I will be able to start using my photography as my means of earning money. I fully realize what a long-shot that is, especially since I have a rather small circle of friends and none of them can really afford either book, but there is that small glimmer of hope that something miraculous will happen. In the meantime, I make plans for my next photographic endeavor and restrain myself from checking back too frequently to see if anyone has bought either book yet.
We are beginning to plan out our camping trips for this year. At this point, we are thinking Zion in April, Great Basin in July, Capitol Reef in September, and Arches in October. We might even throw in a trip to the Tetons in June. It is all still in the initial planning stages at this point, so we'll see what actually happens. Right now, I would love to escape for a couple of days somewhere, but that is just not possible in January (work, of course).
I have decided that I need to work a bit more on being grateful, so I am going to start listing at least one good thing I have accomplished/done during the previous week. I will probably do this on Sundays, at least that is my plan. This week's accomplishment: I have made it through the first two weeks of January and I am still (relatively) sane. That may sound silly, but with my job, I consider that an accomplishment.
That's all for tonight. I should be back tomorrow. Hopefully.
In a way, it surprises me that we are already two weeks into the new year. Sometimes time seems to literally fly by (usually when I am not at work) and I find myself wondering where it went. Part of that is due to the fact that my job is more a study in endurance than something that I find truly interesting. When you are living just to get through something because it is something you need to do, there is not much time left for anything more fulfilling.
I still find myself hoping that someone will see my books on Blurb and I will be able to start using my photography as my means of earning money. I fully realize what a long-shot that is, especially since I have a rather small circle of friends and none of them can really afford either book, but there is that small glimmer of hope that something miraculous will happen. In the meantime, I make plans for my next photographic endeavor and restrain myself from checking back too frequently to see if anyone has bought either book yet.
We are beginning to plan out our camping trips for this year. At this point, we are thinking Zion in April, Great Basin in July, Capitol Reef in September, and Arches in October. We might even throw in a trip to the Tetons in June. It is all still in the initial planning stages at this point, so we'll see what actually happens. Right now, I would love to escape for a couple of days somewhere, but that is just not possible in January (work, of course).
I have decided that I need to work a bit more on being grateful, so I am going to start listing at least one good thing I have accomplished/done during the previous week. I will probably do this on Sundays, at least that is my plan. This week's accomplishment: I have made it through the first two weeks of January and I am still (relatively) sane. That may sound silly, but with my job, I consider that an accomplishment.
That's all for tonight. I should be back tomorrow. Hopefully.
Sunday, January 01, 2012
New Year, New Goals (Kind Of)
Without further ado, I hereby present
What I Plan, Or Hope, To Accomplish, The End Of The World (2012) Edition
1. Complete a photo book about Capitol Reef. I did it (finally) once, I think I can do it again.
2. Other than the photo book, write four chapters or four short stories, or any combination of the two.
3. Hike to the summit of Timp again. I'll have to get started on preparing for this one right away.
4. Hike up to Squaw Peak.
5. Upgrade my computer. This one may soon become a necessity.
6. Exercise. I need to get into shape. I want to be able to go hiking and only stop frequently because I am taking photos, not because I need a breather.
7. Write in my journal at least once a week. This is an oldie but goodie at this point.
8. Visit Great Basin National Park. It is really quite close and we have never been there.
That's a few for right now. I will likely add more tomorrow, but right now I am rather tired. We spent the evening with my family at our monthly family party/late Christmas gathering (my brother and his family had to wait until this weekend to come up from St. George) and the noise tends to wear on me a bit sometimes. i could not, however, miss posting the first day of the year.
What I Plan, Or Hope, To Accomplish, The End Of The World (2012) Edition
1. Complete a photo book about Capitol Reef. I did it (finally) once, I think I can do it again.
2. Other than the photo book, write four chapters or four short stories, or any combination of the two.
3. Hike to the summit of Timp again. I'll have to get started on preparing for this one right away.
4. Hike up to Squaw Peak.
5. Upgrade my computer. This one may soon become a necessity.
6. Exercise. I need to get into shape. I want to be able to go hiking and only stop frequently because I am taking photos, not because I need a breather.
7. Write in my journal at least once a week. This is an oldie but goodie at this point.
8. Visit Great Basin National Park. It is really quite close and we have never been there.
That's a few for right now. I will likely add more tomorrow, but right now I am rather tired. We spent the evening with my family at our monthly family party/late Christmas gathering (my brother and his family had to wait until this weekend to come up from St. George) and the noise tends to wear on me a bit sometimes. i could not, however, miss posting the first day of the year.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
I miss one day and see what happens?
Back around Thanksgiving, I decided I was too tired to write. That one day soon became two, and then three....and now the year is about to give it's final gasp and I am finally writing again. The good news (OK, for me it is good news) is that I have written much more this year than I have ever written before, though not as much as I hope to write in the future. This year I have actually managed to accomplish two things I have set goals to do in past years, but failed to achieve; I submitted three photos to the Utah State Fair, and I completed my book on Arches National Park. I also completed photo books on Nine Mile Canyon and Yellowstone, though they were almost strictly photos with little to no text. Next I might tackle one on Capitol Reef, sharing my impressions and experiences like I did in my Arches book.
And now, in the spirit of the season, I guess it's time to review that list I composed 364 days ago.
What I Plan, Or Hope, To Accomplish, The 2011 Edition
1. Exercise regularly. Merilee and I have a plan in place that begins on Monday morning. We figure if we work on this one together, it is more likely to happen.
This one was in jeopardy almost before it begin. On the first morning, Merilee was not able to even get into the pool it was so crowded and I slipped on some ice while walking outside and hurt my shoulder. We did manage to pick things up later by hiking after work, but then Merilee turned her ankle during a hike on a truly disastrous weekend (no water and we had to find out why from our neighbor, not from our landlords). Then she got sick and we have been fairly sedentary since, though I did spend a couple of days in Arches in October hiking like a madman.
2. Write in my journal at least once a week. I have never been good at keeping a journal, so this is a big deal for me.
Still not good at this one. I started off well, but soon let it go.
3. Finish my Arches book. The photos are almost collected, so I just need to take the time to complete the text and layout. Then I have to have the money to have a copy printed.
Done. Published through Blurb. Check out the links on this blog.
4. Write creatively. And I mean it this time. Compared to last year, this one will be a success as long as I do it even once, but I am shooting for more than that. I already have a first line; "It all began on a Thursday."
Other than the blog, this one went nowhere again. I'll try it again in '12.
5. Save enough money for a new computer. It doesn't have to be fresh out of the box, just new to me. I got the complete National Geographic (I love National Geographic!) on DVD-ROM for Christmas, but I have to have a Mac with an Intel Duo Core Processor running at at least 1.83 GHz in order to use it. I have an iBook G4.
No go on the new 'puter. Still using the same G4 laptop. I ended up upgrading my camera instead. Maybe next year will be a good one for a computer.
6. Pay my tithing. I did better this year, but better is not good enough. This has always been difficult for me.
Still working on this one.
7. If we make it to Zion this year, hike Angel's Landing.
Abject failure here. We made it to Zion, but I realized I was in no shape for Angel's Landing. Next time, perhaps.
8. Become involved in the community. I'm not quite sure what form this will take, but it is something I have thought about doing.
I helped out Friends of the Provo Library and wrote numerous e-mails to my elected officials.
9. Spend less time playing games on Facebook. I have already taken the first step on this one by quitting all of them. Aside from the fact that they were getting to be more frustrating than fun because they are so slow on my computer, I was wasting waaaaay too much time on them.
I had a relapse on this one, but I am back to no Farmville and virtually no Facebook.
10. Enter at least one photo in the state fair. I have threatened to do this for at least the last 10 years. Now that I have officially made it part of my goals, maybe I'll really do it this year.
I entered three photos. Not even an honourable mention. Maybe next year.
11. Continue to improve my photography. I figure I have to add one that will be easy for me to accomplish.
OK, so that about wraps up 2011. Next year I start a new schedule that should allow for a much more active lifestyle (I'm done at 3:25PM) and I hope other things will improve as well. Now I have to get to work on next year's goals. Happy New Year!
PS I finished War And Peace! It was actually pretty good, but the last 45 pages were a bit much. I don't read philosophy for a reason.
And now, in the spirit of the season, I guess it's time to review that list I composed 364 days ago.
What I Plan, Or Hope, To Accomplish, The 2011 Edition
1. Exercise regularly. Merilee and I have a plan in place that begins on Monday morning. We figure if we work on this one together, it is more likely to happen.
This one was in jeopardy almost before it begin. On the first morning, Merilee was not able to even get into the pool it was so crowded and I slipped on some ice while walking outside and hurt my shoulder. We did manage to pick things up later by hiking after work, but then Merilee turned her ankle during a hike on a truly disastrous weekend (no water and we had to find out why from our neighbor, not from our landlords). Then she got sick and we have been fairly sedentary since, though I did spend a couple of days in Arches in October hiking like a madman.
2. Write in my journal at least once a week. I have never been good at keeping a journal, so this is a big deal for me.
Still not good at this one. I started off well, but soon let it go.
3. Finish my Arches book. The photos are almost collected, so I just need to take the time to complete the text and layout. Then I have to have the money to have a copy printed.
Done. Published through Blurb. Check out the links on this blog.
4. Write creatively. And I mean it this time. Compared to last year, this one will be a success as long as I do it even once, but I am shooting for more than that. I already have a first line; "It all began on a Thursday."
Other than the blog, this one went nowhere again. I'll try it again in '12.
5. Save enough money for a new computer. It doesn't have to be fresh out of the box, just new to me. I got the complete National Geographic (I love National Geographic!) on DVD-ROM for Christmas, but I have to have a Mac with an Intel Duo Core Processor running at at least 1.83 GHz in order to use it. I have an iBook G4.
No go on the new 'puter. Still using the same G4 laptop. I ended up upgrading my camera instead. Maybe next year will be a good one for a computer.
6. Pay my tithing. I did better this year, but better is not good enough. This has always been difficult for me.
Still working on this one.
7. If we make it to Zion this year, hike Angel's Landing.
Abject failure here. We made it to Zion, but I realized I was in no shape for Angel's Landing. Next time, perhaps.
8. Become involved in the community. I'm not quite sure what form this will take, but it is something I have thought about doing.
I helped out Friends of the Provo Library and wrote numerous e-mails to my elected officials.
9. Spend less time playing games on Facebook. I have already taken the first step on this one by quitting all of them. Aside from the fact that they were getting to be more frustrating than fun because they are so slow on my computer, I was wasting waaaaay too much time on them.
I had a relapse on this one, but I am back to no Farmville and virtually no Facebook.
10. Enter at least one photo in the state fair. I have threatened to do this for at least the last 10 years. Now that I have officially made it part of my goals, maybe I'll really do it this year.
I entered three photos. Not even an honourable mention. Maybe next year.
11. Continue to improve my photography. I figure I have to add one that will be easy for me to accomplish.
I would like to think that I have succeeded here as well. I'm always trying to improve. My fondest dream is to one day be able to support myself with my photography.
OK, so that about wraps up 2011. Next year I start a new schedule that should allow for a much more active lifestyle (I'm done at 3:25PM) and I hope other things will improve as well. Now I have to get to work on next year's goals. Happy New Year!
PS I finished War And Peace! It was actually pretty good, but the last 45 pages were a bit much. I don't read philosophy for a reason.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Last Night
I know that yesterday's post was rather lame. 1000 words once may have been funny, twice it is just old. Let me explain what happened. What it comes down to is I forgot to write before shutting down the computer. When I remembered, I did not want to start everything up again, so I decided to try to do it on my phone. For some reason I could not get the keyboard up so that I could type, so I ended up recycling not only the idea, but the photo as well. That was all I could manage. I won't try that again.
Only two more days of work this week. This weekend I hope to get the Arches book just about complete. I am almost half way through War And Peace. I'm tired and ready to call it a night.
Only two more days of work this week. This weekend I hope to get the Arches book just about complete. I am almost half way through War And Peace. I'm tired and ready to call it a night.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Small Blessings
Today has been a pretty good day. It started out kind of rough because I woke up at 4:30AM and could not get back to sleep, but we had the library book sale (this sale's shiniest gem....Norton Anthology of English Literature, Vol. 1 for $1) and that was as fun as ever. Then we ran some errands. I got this idea to check at Savers for a sofa or love seat, but told myself that we had never found ANYTHING worth considering at Savers, so I probably shouldn't even suggest it. I decided to suggest it anyway, Merilee agreed, and we found a serviceable love seat for (drum roll please) $12.99! I had to drive a few screws into the frame to firm it up, but with a little luck it will hold for awhile until we can save enough for something better. In the meantime, it was an amazing find and a blessing that we now have a love seat we can actually sit in comfortably. We were even able to get the old one to the dump AND spend some time with Merilee's mom, aunt, and cousins. All in all, I would say it has been a pretty successful day. Now I am headed to bed....OH! I almost forgot. Merilee's mom gave us a foam mattress that looks to make our bed a whole lot more comfortable until we can get a real mattress. Yes, a pretty good day indeed! Now I am headed for bed (after a little Tolstoy if I can keep my eyes open....almost half way through).
Friday, November 18, 2011
New Things We Could Use
1. A job - mine is wearing me out.
2. An apartment - while grateful we have a roof over our head, we also have a very loud family over our head and we are tired of dealing with disasters.
3. A computer - this one is getting woefully out of date. It's still serviceable, but it is slow and none of the newer web browsers support it.
4. A love seat/small sofa - ours is all but dead
5. A car - OK, not very badly, but it would be nice to get better gas mileage.
6. Attitude - mine has taken a seriously negative turn of late. On this list, this is the one thing I think will actually happen, maybe.
7. Bed/mattress - we could both use better sleep at night.
Things I can always use more of
Time
Gratitude
Fellowship with friends
Faith
Hope
Success
2. An apartment - while grateful we have a roof over our head, we also have a very loud family over our head and we are tired of dealing with disasters.
3. A computer - this one is getting woefully out of date. It's still serviceable, but it is slow and none of the newer web browsers support it.
4. A love seat/small sofa - ours is all but dead
5. A car - OK, not very badly, but it would be nice to get better gas mileage.
6. Attitude - mine has taken a seriously negative turn of late. On this list, this is the one thing I think will actually happen, maybe.
7. Bed/mattress - we could both use better sleep at night.
Things I can always use more of
Time
Gratitude
Fellowship with friends
Faith
Hope
Success
Thursday, November 17, 2011
The Long And Short Of It
This afternoon, between calls, I was thinking about the fickleness of time. I have a 30 minute lunch break that seems to be over even before it starts, but the last 30 minutes of the work day seem to take an eternity to pass (especially Friday afternoon). I know all about time flying when you are having gun, but it is still interesting to me that my level of interest has a direct effect on how fast I perceive time passing. I know this is not exactly profound, but it was something I was thinking about and thought I would share.
That's all for now (heavy on the 'short' tonight).
That's all for now (heavy on the 'short' tonight).
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Rambling Thoughts
I hope someone enjoyed yesterday's posting, even if I really didn't write anything. I was really tired and totally brain dead, though not brain dead enough to try to be clever. At least I didn't post just some random photo, but one I genuinely like.
I'm glad the work week is now half over. Only five more work days until Thanksgiving and a nice break from work. This Saturday is also the Friends of the Library book sale at the Provo Library and I am definitely looking forward to that. I'm like a little kid in a candy store at the book sales. Just when I think I can't possibly find anything there, I find more than I expected. The sale is one mine I can always count on to deliver, no matter how often I dig there.
On Black Friday, we are considering going to Nine Mile Canyon for the day. The current long range forecast is not promising, but we'll see what happens. It would be quite nice to go see the amazing rock art again. If the weather is bad, we'll probably just stay put. It would be fun to go because I always seem to find something new there. Besides, it would be nice to escape the crowds.
We're looking for a new love seat or small sofa. Ours is currently on it's very last legs and in dire need or replacement. These things always seem to give out at the same time as the bank account is running on empty. Maybe we'll have to just sit on the floor for awhile. That might be interesting.
Well, that about does it for tonight. I wish I had something more interesting to say, but the job seems to take it right out of me. Until tomorrow, then.
I'm glad the work week is now half over. Only five more work days until Thanksgiving and a nice break from work. This Saturday is also the Friends of the Library book sale at the Provo Library and I am definitely looking forward to that. I'm like a little kid in a candy store at the book sales. Just when I think I can't possibly find anything there, I find more than I expected. The sale is one mine I can always count on to deliver, no matter how often I dig there.
We're looking for a new love seat or small sofa. Ours is currently on it's very last legs and in dire need or replacement. These things always seem to give out at the same time as the bank account is running on empty. Maybe we'll have to just sit on the floor for awhile. That might be interesting.
Well, that about does it for tonight. I wish I had something more interesting to say, but the job seems to take it right out of me. Until tomorrow, then.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
Joys Of Internet Shopping
Saturday night, I placed an order through Barnes & Noble's web site. I had a couple of $5 gift cards, so I decided I would use them. I found a few books I wanted (mostly clearance) and placed the order. When checking my e-mail on Sunday, I first received e-mails stating that there would be a delay, then got an e-mail stating that the order was ready to ship. Today I got e-mails stating that there had been a delay and I had to go on their web site to say I still wanted the books or the order would be canceled. I received a copy of the e-mail for each of the five items I ordered. I decided at that point that I would just cancel everything (the other option I had along with saying I still wanted everything). I hit the cancel buttons for all five items and then, later in the day, I receive e-mails stating that I cannot cancel because the items are being prepared for shipping. What???!!! OK, so I go onto the web site and look at my order again and it still shows the options to say yes, I still want the item or cancel the item FOR ALL FIVE ITEMS. At the top of the order it states that if I do not select the 'still want' option, it will be canceled in 24 hours. I'll check tomorrow to see if anything has changed, but I am so confused right now that I may never order from them again. With the demise of Borders, this is not the time for Barnes & Noble to go all squirrelly on us. And this is not the first time that has happened to me. I had ordered The Complete Avengers on DVD-rom (that's the comic book, it anyone is wondering), and it was not until I got through checkout and waited for it to ship that they said it was out of stock. What a lousy way to run a web site. No wonder everyone orders from Amazon.
THIS JUST IN!
After initially publishing this post, I was doing a quick e-mail check before heading off to spend some quality time with Tolstoy and guess what I found? An e-mail from Barnes & Noble saying that my order had shipped; ALL FIVE ITEMS. I don't know who let their pet monkey play with the e-mail portion of their web site, but they need to put him back in his cage before he brings down any more confusion on unsuspecting customers. What a weird trip this has been.
THIS JUST IN!
After initially publishing this post, I was doing a quick e-mail check before heading off to spend some quality time with Tolstoy and guess what I found? An e-mail from Barnes & Noble saying that my order had shipped; ALL FIVE ITEMS. I don't know who let their pet monkey play with the e-mail portion of their web site, but they need to put him back in his cage before he brings down any more confusion on unsuspecting customers. What a weird trip this has been.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Nope....I Got Nuthin' (Almost)
I have been sitting here for more than 30 minutes doing other things (checking Amazon for the new Bloom County book, fiddling around on Facebook, etc) while I tried and tried to come up with something worth saying tonight. at this point, it is time to throw up my hands and walk away. Before I head of to my nightly date with Tolstoy (436 pages down, 1008 to go), I want to leave with something I read in the most recent issue of Outside magazine.
"In a 1991 study by Texas A&M psychologists, subjects who viewed scenes of water or trees reported a much quicker return to a positive mood after a stressful event than those who viewed urban scenes."
Also:
"In a pilot study this March, psychologists found that students in an Outward Bound course showed a 40 percent boost in frontal-lobe actvity--which is linked to creativity--after four days in the backcountry."
And finally:
"A 2008 study by University of Michigan psychologists found that walking outside or even just looking at pictures of natural settings improves directed attention, the ability to concentrate on a task. Put another way, nature restores our ability to focus."
There are people out there I really wish would pay more attention to information like this before advocating that wilderness is not important for anything but its economic value. Perhaps a session of congress in the middle of the forest is in order? I know I could use a good walk in the woods about now.
"In a 1991 study by Texas A&M psychologists, subjects who viewed scenes of water or trees reported a much quicker return to a positive mood after a stressful event than those who viewed urban scenes."
Also:
"In a pilot study this March, psychologists found that students in an Outward Bound course showed a 40 percent boost in frontal-lobe actvity--which is linked to creativity--after four days in the backcountry."
And finally:
"A 2008 study by University of Michigan psychologists found that walking outside or even just looking at pictures of natural settings improves directed attention, the ability to concentrate on a task. Put another way, nature restores our ability to focus."
There are people out there I really wish would pay more attention to information like this before advocating that wilderness is not important for anything but its economic value. Perhaps a session of congress in the middle of the forest is in order? I know I could use a good walk in the woods about now.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Moments Lost In Time
Yesterday was one of those rare days when I was actually able to do a little thinking between calls at work. I ruminated over things ranging from a fresh update to my political blog (not done yet, but coming soon, not that anyone has ever read it), to what I was considering doing this weekend. I was considering whether or not to make the trek up to Salt Lake to attend my great aunt's funeral (it was this morning and I opted out due to being too emotionally worn out for a funeral), when I started thinking back on trips we had made to her house on Christmas when I was a kid. We used to go, in part, because my grandmother did not drive and she wanted to see her sister at Christmas. Then I started thinking about the past and about time and how fleeting it all is. For some reason it really struck me the fact that the only way I have to prove that any of those things ever happened is that I remember them. Once the moment is gone, it is irretrievably gone except for what we remember, and that is different for everyone who experienced the moment.
I think back on some of my earliest memories, and sometimes they do not feel real. I know that these things happened to me because I remember them happening, and still they feel somehow not a part of me. It was somewhat disconcerting thinking about this in between calls. I started recalling times where I have felt like I was in some strange dream and that I would wake up at any moment to find that everything that had happened in the last week, month, year, decade was, in fact, just a dream.
And then there are the photos I recently found of a camping trip with my ex and our kids. The photos are real. They captured some of these moments lost to the past, and yet I have no memory of that trip. I cannot explain it. I look at the photos and I try so hard to recall where we were, what the occasion was, any detail at all, and it is as if the whole thing has been erased from my memory. I know I was there; I took the photos, but I could not tell you where 'there' was if my life depended on it.
So the past simply disappears, but it is as if my brain is trying to think beyond this linear concept called time. It is sometimes as if my brain is saying, 'Look, I know that there is more to this, but something is in there keeping me from unlocking the part that will help me comprehend in something other than a linear way.' I am sure that this is probably starting to sound rather whacked out (who knows, maybe a screw or two is finally coming loose), but the whole experience yesterday was really rather odd. I found myself wondering if, somehow, our past moments still exist and we could revisit them if only we could find a way to them. Right now, memory is the only way, and memories can be strange, elusive things. It was a weird afternoon.
Clear as mud? I thought so. At least I will have this as proof that tonight existed at some point. Unless this is all some weird dream. (OK, I'll stop now.)
I think back on some of my earliest memories, and sometimes they do not feel real. I know that these things happened to me because I remember them happening, and still they feel somehow not a part of me. It was somewhat disconcerting thinking about this in between calls. I started recalling times where I have felt like I was in some strange dream and that I would wake up at any moment to find that everything that had happened in the last week, month, year, decade was, in fact, just a dream.
And then there are the photos I recently found of a camping trip with my ex and our kids. The photos are real. They captured some of these moments lost to the past, and yet I have no memory of that trip. I cannot explain it. I look at the photos and I try so hard to recall where we were, what the occasion was, any detail at all, and it is as if the whole thing has been erased from my memory. I know I was there; I took the photos, but I could not tell you where 'there' was if my life depended on it.
So the past simply disappears, but it is as if my brain is trying to think beyond this linear concept called time. It is sometimes as if my brain is saying, 'Look, I know that there is more to this, but something is in there keeping me from unlocking the part that will help me comprehend in something other than a linear way.' I am sure that this is probably starting to sound rather whacked out (who knows, maybe a screw or two is finally coming loose), but the whole experience yesterday was really rather odd. I found myself wondering if, somehow, our past moments still exist and we could revisit them if only we could find a way to them. Right now, memory is the only way, and memories can be strange, elusive things. It was a weird afternoon.
Clear as mud? I thought so. At least I will have this as proof that tonight existed at some point. Unless this is all some weird dream. (OK, I'll stop now.)
Friday, November 11, 2011
At A Loss For Words
It's Friday night, it has been a very long week, and rather than being all excited and energetic because it is finally the weekend, I am mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. So the plan is to get some sleep and approach this blog thing again tomorrow. I had some things I was thinking about earlier today that I really want to share, but tonight it is just not happening. If you could see how many times I have had to backspace and correct text, you would understand what I am saying. Tune in tomorrow; it should be much more interesting (than this entry, anyway).
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Just A Quick One
Tomorrow is Friday! Only one more day of work before the weekend. This has been one of those weeks I will be glad to see that back of. More and more I am looking forward to Thanksgiving; not only for the wonderful food and good company, but for the time off.
We bought some Cinnabon cinnamon rolls at Costco tonight as a treat. I had forgotten how good they can be....and just how sweet. We may have to freeze some because one tonight has just about done me in. It sure was tasty though.
That about wraps it up for me tonight.
We bought some Cinnabon cinnamon rolls at Costco tonight as a treat. I had forgotten how good they can be....and just how sweet. We may have to freeze some because one tonight has just about done me in. It sure was tasty though.
That about wraps it up for me tonight.
Wednesday, November 09, 2011
Wishful Thinking
If I could choose to do anything I wished for a living, I would spend time visiting the national parks and write photo books about my experiences. One problem with this dream is that there are already many people who do this very thing. Just look at the visitor's centers and you will find any number of books filled with photos of the parks. That said, against very long odds, I hope to complete a book on Arches later this month. I have no illusions it will ever be much more than just a little something I put together for my own satisfaction. The site I will be publishing it through will have it available for sale, but I do not anticipate that more than three copies will ever be sold, and I will likely be the one to buy them all. Still, it will be an accomplishment. After all, I did manage to enter three photos into the state fair this year after saying I was going to enter for at least a decade. I am sure I will experience some level of satisfaction of seeing the book in print. I did a Yellowstone photo book for my dad recently and I liked it well enough to buy a copy for myself as well. That one was only photos and I do not think it is available for purchase unless I purchase additional copies. What I am slowly and very indirectly getting at is it would be a dream made real if my Arches book actually sold well and I was able to do other books. I could easily put one together for Capitol Reef as well at this point.
That would be my dream job; not only because I would be writing and taking photos for a living, but because I could actually spend more time in nature. While I missed having Merilee with me this last trip to Arches, being able to spend time immersed in the wonders of that place, listening to the wind and feeling the peace of being away from so many people and the demands of everyday life was something I needed more than I could ever describe. I think back to my hike out to Tower Arch and I remember being almost drawn by the trail. When I started, I had no plan to do the whole trail. I just wanted to see what the first part of the trail looked like, but the further I went, the further I wanted to go. Yes, when I got to the hill of sand, I wondered what I was thinking and if I should go on or just turn back, but I kept going (and I really do not like walking uphill in sand). Even though I was getting tired and was really not in the best of shape, something drew me on. When I finally reached the arch, it was all worth it. I had come 1.7 miles, seeing areas of the park I had never experienced before, and here I stood before something remarkably grand, inspiring, and breath taking. I sat there for awhile, a solitary human amidst natural wonders. That kind of experience is what helps renew me. There are times I literally live for moments like that. Moments like that are what I hope to share.
I'll let you know when it is done.
That would be my dream job; not only because I would be writing and taking photos for a living, but because I could actually spend more time in nature. While I missed having Merilee with me this last trip to Arches, being able to spend time immersed in the wonders of that place, listening to the wind and feeling the peace of being away from so many people and the demands of everyday life was something I needed more than I could ever describe. I think back to my hike out to Tower Arch and I remember being almost drawn by the trail. When I started, I had no plan to do the whole trail. I just wanted to see what the first part of the trail looked like, but the further I went, the further I wanted to go. Yes, when I got to the hill of sand, I wondered what I was thinking and if I should go on or just turn back, but I kept going (and I really do not like walking uphill in sand). Even though I was getting tired and was really not in the best of shape, something drew me on. When I finally reached the arch, it was all worth it. I had come 1.7 miles, seeing areas of the park I had never experienced before, and here I stood before something remarkably grand, inspiring, and breath taking. I sat there for awhile, a solitary human amidst natural wonders. That kind of experience is what helps renew me. There are times I literally live for moments like that. Moments like that are what I hope to share.
I'll let you know when it is done.
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
Tired Tuesday
Today was a rather long day at work and I am rather worn out. At heart, I am really a very empathic person, and dealing with others' problems every day can make me feel physically tired. That is where I am at tonight. I am emotionally drained as well, and that does not lend itself to creativity.
I did get some good news today. My son, who lives in Sweden, has twice applied for extension of child support. I received the most recent official letter in the mail on October 29th. According to Utah, where the Swedish authorities had my child support calculated so they could use ORS instead of working directly with me, my son has been emancipated since he turned 18. Well, when I got the most recent letter, I sent an e-mail explaining that. Today, I had a notice left in the mail that I had a registered letter from Sweden. I spent the rest of the day wondering what it would say, imagining the worst and wondering how I was going to afford paying child support for him again. Right after work, I went to the post office and got the letter. Rather than the missive of gloom I expected, it was a simple letter acknowledging the my son is indeed emancipated and I do not have to start paying extended child support. Now if he would only get a job like normal people who are almost 20 and need money.
That's about all I have in me tonight. Time to read a bit more or the great Russian novel and head to bed.
I did get some good news today. My son, who lives in Sweden, has twice applied for extension of child support. I received the most recent official letter in the mail on October 29th. According to Utah, where the Swedish authorities had my child support calculated so they could use ORS instead of working directly with me, my son has been emancipated since he turned 18. Well, when I got the most recent letter, I sent an e-mail explaining that. Today, I had a notice left in the mail that I had a registered letter from Sweden. I spent the rest of the day wondering what it would say, imagining the worst and wondering how I was going to afford paying child support for him again. Right after work, I went to the post office and got the letter. Rather than the missive of gloom I expected, it was a simple letter acknowledging the my son is indeed emancipated and I do not have to start paying extended child support. Now if he would only get a job like normal people who are almost 20 and need money.
That's about all I have in me tonight. Time to read a bit more or the great Russian novel and head to bed.
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