Sunday, July 17, 2011

Still Here

Long time, no post. Truth is, I have had much that I could write about--trips to Zion and Capitol Reef, among other things--but I just have not had it in me to actually write about anything. I've been at a bit of a low ebb of late and that does not lend itself to anything like writing a blog. Tonight I decided that the only way I am EVER going to get going again is to just start writing whatever happens to flow. So here I am at almost 2AM finally trying to get back on the horse, as it were, wondering what will come pouring out as I sit here typing.

The good news is that my job will be changing somewhat in October. It is a change I was hoping for and I believe it will remove some of the stress compared to what I am doing now. Time will tell. If I can just make it through to the end of September, we have another trip to Capitol Reef planned and that should be fun. I can't wait to taste some of those heirloom apples again. Then in October we are heading back to Arches.

As I mentioned, we made a trip to Zion National Park back in April and had a good time, though we cut things short a bit due to an impending storm. We had originally planned a long trip down to Chaco, Hovenweep, and Mesa Verde, but that didn't work out. In June, we had planned to go to the Tetons, but when we read that the trails were still mostly packed with snow, we checked weather forecasts and, based on lowest high temperatures, decided to head to Capitol Reef instead. We cut that trip short due to heat. The second day we were there it was 102 and we spent a whole lot of time just sitting in the shade trying to keep cool and me trying to photograph the birds. We were also plagued by almost continuous clouds of gnats. Needless to say, we decided that any future trips to Capitol Reef need to be in September or later.

Lately I have found myself rather jealous of people who are able to do something they love for a living. I have been trying to discover ways where I might start making money with photography, but it seems that the advent of digital cameras has made that even more difficult. I have entered some photography contests and have tried to promote my Flickr site a bit, but no luck thus far. Part of my problem is that I can see where I would like to be, I just cannot seem to find a way there. It is something I have struggled with for a long time. I am very grateful to have a job at a time when so many people are without work, and I know many people do things they do not like because they need the work. I just wish I could do something that I enjoyed, something I felt fulfilled doing. I'm almost 47 and I am back where I was 14 years ago. I want a place of my own, someplace Merilee and I can call our home, so bad I can taste it, yet our circumstances are such that it remains out of our reach. I want someplace to settle down; someplace I can have a dog and a garden without it being trashed by unthinking, uncaring truants. This is part of why I haven't written lately. There has been a lot of frustration and who wants to read someone complaining?

Anyway, it's getting late and this restart is beginning a steady downward spiral, so I think I will try to get some sleep and try this again another day. Maybe I'll even share a photo or two next time. All I can say is please bear with me and, sooner or later, things are bound to get more interesting. At least I hope so. OK, time for bed before I lapse into complete incoherence.