Sunday, July 31, 2005

Heavy Silence

It's been a long time again since I set my thoughts down here. Tonight, once again I feel the need. This evening is strangely quiet for me. For the last six weeks I have been blessed with the company of my children who are usually a world away from me with their mother. Today, the shortest six weeks in my life came to an end as I watched the two most precious souls in my life walk down a ramp to get on an airplane. Thus the silence. For six weeks my life has been full of the sound of my children; sounds of laughter, sounds of happiness, even sounds of sibling contention that I hear so very rarely are once again missing. This summer has been the longest continuous amount of time we have spent together since my ex left nine years ago. I knew our time together would have to come to an end before it ever began but I never dreamed it would pass so quickly. Now I must once again get used to hearing their voices only on the telephone until some time next summer when, for a few brief weeks, the heavy silence will be filled with joyous sounds of life.

From past experience, the next week will be a long one. Tomorrow, at work, the day will last much longer than the clock's passing would indicate. Slowly, the normality I am used to will begin to replace the feeling of loss and missing my kids will once again become the dull ache I deal with daily rather than the bright pang I feel now. Life will go on but I think I have shared enough for tonight.

4 comments:

Geo said...

It's a new year and this blog reader wants to find a new post here. I come by nearly every day to check.

: )

lucyhuron54592256 said...

I read over your blog, and i found it inquisitive, you may find My Blog interesting. My blog is just about my day to day life, as a park ranger. So please Click Here To Read My Blog

http://www.juicyfruiter.blogspot.com

newspapergrl said...

My friend Georgia referenced you so I thought I'd say hi too. Your post on saying goodbye to your children is very sad. It gives me a perspective I haven't had. Thankfully, so far, my ex and I live close together and both see our son. As far as funks go, I broke up with someone I've been seeing for almost a year. It's Friday night and what am I doing? blogging. Yep, that's what I'll be doing until I can get my feet back under me. So in a small way, I relate to the lonliness you're expressing...and I hope that we both find our way to bright street...

Scott said...

Thanks for your comments newspapergrl. Georgia is one of a kind and any comments from a friend of hers are most welcomingly received. I know about those Friday nights. I hope you find your feet beneath you again soon and and bright street sooner.